Episode 1: Sam’s Notes

Zombeavers

  • White trash medical waste disposal guys
  • Alright, pretty funny so far
  • Deer guts in the radiator
  • Puppet beavers
  • Fuck you Sam!
  • Guys are jerks (trucker at the bathroom and guy walking by at gas station and dick pics)
  • Terrible road trip music
  • Look at the teen wearing the #1 Dad hat… I wonder if…
  • Those are some crazy short skirts
  • What a pleasant neighbor… biotch…she’s great
  • Digital dog pee…
  • Hey look, no phone service foreshadowing
  • The “girls like assholes…” talk
  • Yay bathing suits?
  • More super short skirts
  • Alright, we have tits
  • And that lake looks icky…
  • The ominous #1 Dat hat floats by…
  • Hey look, beaver dam
  • Yeah, we should swim right up to that beaver dam…should be safe
  • Looks like the dam was shot with paintballs
  • She covers up when she sees the bear…that makes sense
  • Did that guy just call the ladies “heifers”?
  • Awkward conversation with Mr. Smyth
  • Awkward beaver jokes…
  • Beaver warnings and puppy dicks
  • Are we suggesting that maybe beavers don’t like loose women?
  • “Would you rather” just went to a really dark place
  • What is thumping on the house? We should probably go check it out…
  • Of COURSE they got locked out
  • Asshole boys?
  • Flashlight doesn’t work foreshadowing
  • Yay, Sam is here!
  • His dick is asleep… the world is ending
  • No sir, we already had lots of awkward…
  • You feel like a Power Ranger? Wow
  • Oh snap! (slap)
  • She’s not going to scream (called it)
  • Shower nudity…almost
  • Attack of the puppet zombeavers!
  • Sam is really choking up on that bat
  • Beaver murder by bat
  • Buck reminds me of Mathew Lillard
  • Buck foreshadows his own death when demanding an orgy
  • Creepy hunter laying out the traps
  • The beaver has clearly crawled out of the bag, but the dudes are idiots and don’t want to see it
  • More beaver jokes, please
  • Boys are idiots…and why is Buck wearing a hat in the water?
  • Buck lost his foot, kind of, I mean, he knows where it is…
  • Too small tit jokes?
  • Wait, the beavers cut the phone line? How?… HOW!
  • Beaver attacks Jen, convenient knife as the beavers attack the raft
  • The dog lives…?
  • The dog does not live
  • Swim for your lives!
  • Oh god… half beaver attacking Jen’s beaver!
  • Jen knows zombies
  • Sam takes control of the situation to kill the beaver on the range
  • Boys are assholes…well established
  • Now Jen knows it was Mary in the picture with Sam
  • Beavers obviously communicate by tail smacks
  • Really? How many beavers are there?
  • Have they sabotaged the cars?
  • Sam is taking control again
  • The neighbors are hilarious
  • Wait, did the beaver completely consume a large dog?
  • Oh yeah, beavers can cut down trees… to block the road
  • Tommy takes control, girls are hysterical messes
  • Tommy got deaded by beavers with deadly trees
  • Did that beaver just fly into the air?
  • Creepy guy saves the day
  • This house has a lot of nails
  • Sam stubs his thumb while Mary stabs the beaver
  • Let’s talk about beaver fever…
  • Creepy hunter is creepy
  • Alright, Sam is a pussy…
  • I am sure the neighbors are dead by now
  • Did the beavers leave a log as a calling card?
  • And they cut the phone lines again
  • The beavers want them to turn against each other?
  • Beavers like to play practical jokes?
  • Creepy hunter is really practical about feet and food
  • Lesbian dream sequence?
  • Definitely not…Jen is a zombie beaver now
  • Now Buck is the zombeaver eating the creepy hunger
  • Yeah Sam, take your shirt off!
  • And Zoe jumps out the window
  • Uhm… Whack-A-Beaver?
  • They know what zombies are, but they don’t know to attack the head?
  • You show me yours, I’ll show you mine?
  • Really? We’re going to do this now?
  • Did a zombeaver just intentionally start a fire?
  • Did Jen just bite off Sam’s penis?
  • Zoe saves Mary by driving into the house
  • Escape is thwarted by tree
  • Zombear? Zoe: “I mean really?”
  • Run Jen over!
  • I’m sure one of them has been scratched or something
  • Tommy is a zombie too
  • Zoe axes Mary
  • I did not see Zoe being the one to make it out alive…
  • Oh god…

Dildo in the drawer?
Zombeaver song…awesome.
Did we just get a Zombees joke?
Irrelevant Actor: #1 Dad kid