Episode 106: Sam’s Notes

Travelling Salesman

  • A proof that could unlock the universe or something
  • The most important proof in computer science that computer scientists have never heard of
  • Too long on this fence
  • And now, for the boring life of mathematicians
  • Just going to work and shit…
  • Found footage of a speech… probably the worst nightmare imaginable
  • John, John… you’re on mute…
  • I’m glad we abandoned that, now, look at this clock.
  • Watching a guy read quietly…and a literal water cooler
  • Just going to watch this guy watch that guy
  • Still watching you, buddy
  • John Wick?
  • Just watching a guy get water from the aforementioned water cooler
  • Now we can’t even have cell phones to get us through this boring scene?
  • Watching a one-sided phone conversation
  • John Wick, can you please kill everyone in this room?
  • God, I hope we can watch a guy stuck in traffic
  • Yes, can we not be irresponsible and please have this conversation before I fall asleep?
  • We’re interrogating you because we have nothing else to do
  • I don’t care of Von Neumann did say that
  • Knowledge is Power. Can we leave now?
  • Back to found footage of this guy talking about some other guy
  • Complexity theory? Like, the theory of complexity?
  • Proved the non-existence of one-way functions
  • Tim Horton, not only famous for complexity theory, but also donuts
  • Yes, lets not sit here and assume anything, like, that this movie will get interesting
  • As experts in our field, we couldn’t possibly understand the implications of what we discovered
  • I don’t know what we’re supposed to be getting our minds around!
  • I feel like everyone involved in the Manhattan Project knew the implications of building an atomic bomb
  • Oh cool, some guy talking to another guy, awesome
  • This is certainly not Los Alamos
  • Change the sand to glass and finding the coin is trivial, except for the part where it’s still hundreds of miles of glass….
  • New technocratic reality!
  • Therefore, P must = NP
  • Proving that P = NP has to be done right!
  • Here, let me show you a card trick
  • P = NP is simply magic!
  • More found footage
  • Watching a guy fold a hankie
  • We’re all sorry you were late
  • The President says…
  • That’s not how that goes
  • John Wick is getting twitchy
  • Tim Horton is upset his donut recipe won’t get out there
  • This, my friend, is no sewing circle, as demonstrated by no one here sewing
  • Can’t sleep, must watch top secret porn
  • You’re not even allowed to take this letter from the President out of the envelope from whence it came
  • As a viewer, I don’t understand the reality of whatever is going on here
  • So it’s a way to decrypt whatever
  • Haxx0rs!
  • Oh, so this guy is the salesman
  • I’m looking for whoever is counting… they must be a genius mathematician!
  • She must be a student who doesn’t speak
  • Hawkings jokes
  • Stumbling around this NP complete thing again with the smart British guy
  • Well somebody say something!
  • John Wick, reduced to fetching tiny bottles of water
  • Nevermind, stop talking, please.
  • Zing!
  • No sir, you are not being funny, but could you?
  • Yes, Tim Horton does have the best donuts
  • Still fingering the letterhead
  • Marco!
  • Wick, is that you?
  • Are we really just going to look at each other?
  • Is this vice on the head a metaphor?
  • Yes. Yes it is.
  • You can’t handle the truth!
  • Wick thinks you should sit down
  • It’s time. Please end it.
  • Yes…. boats against the current…
  • Now everyone thinks Tim Horton’s donuts aren’t as good as he says they are
  • Wick is stoic
  • Do not threaten a mathematician!
  • Math divides…. Get it?
  • Fuck you Illuminati!
  • Travelling Salesman is the name of the system
  • So the fix was to slam the world into the stone ages?