Episode 23: Sam’s Notes

The Colony/The Advanced Guard

  • Sci-Fi Channel, woohoo!
  • City!
  • Traffic!
  • Nakedness!
  • She’s never had popcorn before?
  • Police cars skidding, and cops running up stairs
  • Did the cop have to crash through the window?
  • The cops going down the stairs made it down there before the guy on the fire escape
  • Poof
  • Frozen people, “The reports were accurate” uh, what?
  • “She told us to stay”
  • What, more credits?
  • I’m bored.
  • Just digging around in a corpse
  • Those gloves are monstrously too large
  • And he’s still alive
  • There’s a timeline
  • Just run the damned diagnostic! Christ!
  • (7:08) “I don’t understand your fascination with these things, they’re too hard to work with, they’re too small, and they’re outdated.”
  • Those aren’t real guts
  • That’s probably a green screen
  • Oh, it’s a robot thing, that explains everything
  • Isn’t this the dad from Good Luck Charlie?
  • Charlie is like a bored teenager
  • So they’re all robots
  • (12:48) “This penetration will be like none other”
  • She did her job and brought back the data
  • She laughed, mockingly
  • Yeah, what about the bonus?
  • “18 first penetrations”
  • Worst costumes ever
  • Beamed down!
  • Like rats, they crawl out of the sewer
  • Of course they’re in Los Angeles
  • Yeah, we want non-compliant humans
  • Let’s get drunk!
  • Assaulting the homeless
  • Don’t mistreat the humans! Even though the armada is coming to exterminate the planet
  • Yup, it’s literally “Bar”
  • Oh, it’s that guy!
  • Don’t they want people they can’t control?
  • I don’t know, stuff happens, people taken captive…
  • Doing experiments on the compliant one
  • And now the less compliant one
  • She doesn’t want to hurt people
  • Lecture about doing right
  • No differences in the brains
  • This leader guy is really impatient
  • Back in the cell, that sure is a conveniently huge ventilation passage right there in the cell
  • What do they want from us?
  • This device is actually going to kill them
  • Wow, she is really trying to save their lives
  • Slicing his arm open
  • I get your ruse…
  • The old pocketknife in the door trick
  • Sneaking around the ship
  • Bad stage slap
  • How do you know these things aren’t on our side?
  • Awww
  • Captured again
  • We’re not going to die
  • You want to know about the first time I kissed a gir?
  • Ah, back to the dancing near-naked woman… who is definitely not 13
  • You seriously peed when you saw a naked girl?
  • Are you trying to come on to this girl?
  • Laura is  strapped down to a death machine
  • I couldn’t let her die, I just told her about how I peed in the tub!
  • Harper gives them all sorts of information
  • This plan seems extremely risky
  • Harper kisses Kevin
  • And back to mostly naked woman with a dude
  • Kevin lets Desmond out
  • Escape detected
  • Fred wants to take them back
  • Are  you annihilating them or taking them as slaves?
  • Love is the factor?
  • They figured out how the control works/doesn’t work
  • Fight with Charlie
  • Run into Bravo
  • Shoot Bravo
  • Hacker fight!
  • Kill the bad aliens
  • Why does she keep kissing him?
  • Alpha is dead
  • Desmond fights Bravo again, and wins, I guess
  • Laura is back
  • Well, this is awkward
  • Worst spaceship explosion ever
  • I guess we’re all friends now

Calling this The Colony makes no sense