Episode 33: Sam’s Notes

Roshtalivik

  • Green screen
  • Photon laser gun!
  • Time machine pocket watch!
  • Dell did not sponsor this movie
  • And I am slouching out of this dump!
  • Picnic
  • “How was school today Felix.”
  • I’m not really paying attention to whatever you’re saying, kid.
  • This music makes no sense in this picnic scene
  • “Daddy, what’s your job?” because we need exposition STAT!
  • What kid would rather play than eat Oreos?
  • She’s got names picked out
  • Wow, do people really have conversations like this? Ever? In human history?
  • Is he a developer or a designer? Does anyone know?
  • “You look great, you’re presentable…” well, I’m sold.
  • This scene is out of focus
  • “Yes, I’d like a quote for a website.”
  • WHAT?
  • Only two people work in this company
  • This piano music makes no sense for this job interview scene
  • Also, why is there a job interview scene?
  • You’re only being hired for this job because of nepotism.
  • What web designer has a giant calculator on his desk?
  • “Seriously, will you get me a stick?” (0:10:19)
  • “I need a website to log my experiments.”
  • I’m just going to lay out my entire plan right now.
  • “I’m a computer genius, I can find anyone.” (0:13:27)
  • I’m so glad we get to witness this fight about how his wife doesn’t do any real work.
  • Why didn’t you just tell me to get a 16th of a stick?
  • Purple smoke
  • The gun that vaporizes people doesn’t vaporize people
  • Oh, she was just cranky because she was pregnant
  • The lighting in this scene does not properly convey the gravity of losing wife and child
  • Police believe the perpetrator in this hit and run to be either drunk or a mad scientist
  • Mad scientist who is still wearing black cargo pants and tshirt
  • This guy always introduces himself as a scientist
  • Sure, I’ll go live with this self-proclaimed scientist who wants to do experiments on me, what have I got to lose?
  • This music has nothing to do with a scene that involves drinking mouthwash and then getting shot
  • “Alright, well, see you tomorrow.” (after getting shot and not dying)
  • I’m glad we get to watch this guy getting a drink and yogurt and sitting down at the table and reading the news on his holo-iphone
  • Just randomly talking to myself at the kitchen table… hold on while I put this stuff back in the fridge
  • Just FYI, lasers are photons
  • This crazy scientist lab is under the house?
  • I call myself The Dictator, hey, don’t laugh!
  • Stone cold killer! Eating a danish on my back patio.
  • Bro, I’m at the gym, I’m always at the gym
  • Just a couple of assassins getting coffee in this person’s living room
  • Dumpster diving in fancy boots
  • I want to overthrow the Dictator!
  • No music during these tense recruiting scenes
  • Joystick on the table in this crazy lab
  • Is this Dictator the scientist?
  • Poof!
  • Just sent my son into the future and I’ll never see him again… ooo, apple!
  • Silence or I’ll shoot!
  • HAHAHA
  • Worldjumper
  • Rebellion?
  • What’s happening?
  • “Time is getting away from us!”
  • Yes, it’s obvious where that brick wall is…
  • Everyone knows what all this means except for anyone watching this movie
  • …and…action!
  • I love camping
  • It wasn’t a teleporter, it was a time machine
  • Internal continuity, people!
  • But… that was a one way trip!
  • He gave me money and helped me to get off the streets… couldn’t you have just been a stripper?
  • “Go ahead, shoot me. You need me, I don’t need you.” “You’re right.” (0:45:50)
  • This guy’s logic is indistinguishable from insanity, but everyone is on board!
  • “You scare me sometimes.” he says to the most unscary thugs
  • When did this guy get killed? Did I somehow miss something important?
  • Our secret weapon is a few sticks of dynamite in a storage closet?
  • I know we’re assaulting the Dictator right now, but what happened to your eye?
  • Lots of scenes of loud speakers
  • Mic drop
  • Explosive barrels out of Duke Nukem, HAHAHA
  • Ugh… The Dictator’s partner?
  • 50 years later and everyone’s clothes are more fucked up, but the trains are still running
  • Why does Rosh have the same symbol on his jacket that was on the dynamite box?
  • The Dictator’s partner is named Andrew
  • “You know what, you watch yourself, because my trigger finger here is pretty touchy, and I don’t want to slip up.(0:57:25)
  • Table flip! Also, that same symbol is on the underside of the table
  • Oh, hi Luther
  • What good are jewels? Thank you Rosh.
  • I leveled the entire fucking planet
  • More storage closets
  • More fake barrels and fake dynamite HAHAHA
  • So, Luther is a terminator?
  • Hey, it’s a kid, it’s Felix
  • Yeah, you are totally a monster
  • Just going to send a random kid back in time to save the world
  • The world’s destruction because of “immortality”
  • Gimme the watch. Take the watch. And take the watch. And take this PLG.
  • Rosh talking about life for twenty minutes makes me want to end my life.
  • Yes. You are mentally deranged.
  • This is why you don’t drink mouthwash
  • It’s over.