Episode 6: Sam’s Notes – Streaming Nonsense Podcast

Alien Hunter

Creepy music
Space…and shooting stars…
1942… HAM radio hobbyists talking sports
And then weird static
We should investigate the freaky radio sound immediately
Guy who communicates by radio could actually just be phone calling people
Oh, Roswell. Well that explains everything.
Takes the radio with him so he can keep listening to freaky radio sounds
Stand by military…
I bet the dog lives.
Bright light! Bright light!
Satellites…
Antarctica, 2003
Axxon Resources Study Club
All of these guys have been dubbed
Spader is teaching language and girls are looking at him like the girls in Indiana Jones’ class
Open email like someone is typing to you RIGHT NOW, in the email?
Oh look, old Professor Jones
I did not have sexual relations with that… Oh forget that, this is a college, we don’t care about inappropriate sexual relations with students
Let me show you this still image that is also video
Fixed length pulse groups… that sounds scientific
That’s a kick ass frequency!
That looks like something anyone could have figured out
I don’t know about sending you to Antarctica, you could get dead and embarrass this university!
Meanwhile, in the Falklands… we’re still staring at waveforms
Now, Arizona, we’re still staring at waveforms…
Why are we seeing trails on the airplane?
Alright, the landing gear is done…
Rough landing
Terrible fade to a view of the camp
I guess he’s a Raiders fan?
Hot researcher?
Yup.
Hahah… glacier shifts…happens all the time
“What position is that?” is this a sexual position reference?
The door opening/closing sounds seem super high tech compared to how low tech those doors look
The object… it’s a really big ice cube
Let’s say the object was placed here…
Did she say they need him in the corn lab?
Except, those guys sent the signal to NASA
Is there something moving in there?
Psychic connection to the thing in the ice!
Oh look, another attractive female researcher
We can’t stop talking about how sexy Julien is
Still talking about sexual conquests
Why keep staring at his hand?
These unnecessary sliding doors are pissing me off
Behind you!
Weird video montage!
Ooo…pointy
Show me your corn!
Of course you work naked.
So we research crashed alien spacecraft and corn here… Makes sense
Having fun while spraying the corn
So he’s saying the guy has a boner?
Yes, bathing suits and corn
Seems like these two people have a history that was not pleasant
I’m just going to press buttons on your equipment now
What do you think is in that block of ice? I really big bottle of scotch, I hope.
Everyone likes reminding Julien of his SETI failures
Julien’s dossier
Oh, he’s an Alien Hunter, finally we get to it
So much exposition… Now we know the history between these two
Communications officer enters
“Between 2 and 6 gigahertz?”
“Could be a hoax” “could be…stupid man.”
Requisite guy playing mandolin
Introduce more beautiful ladies
The cargo plane pilots are still here because weather
Alright, Straub is an asshole… still talking about the SETI thing
Oh, God logic… I’m convinced
You can feel the impulse in your joints?
This is no hoax…
It’s like some sort of beacon!
Obvious brother’s death is obvious
Maybe I really can take credit for this other guy’s guess
How do they have such a clear recording from 1942?
And the ice cube breaks and all the scotch pours out
Yes, of course touch the alien spaceship
Gibberish
Yes, because it’s all about you, Julien
Straub is small-minded
Yes, let’s not blow it up or release an infection
Now that we’ve brought you to the White House, let’s talk aliens
Because we don’t typically call men “Jules”
Are we going to kiss?
No.
Can you watch these digits flash on a screen?
Did she just offer to shower with Julien?
Alien thing has been grounded
Please, get me drunk immediately!
So, if they’re already too late, we’ll just nuke them, thanks to the Russians
Straub is a dick
And there we have it folks, video games are the key to solving the problem!
Here we have computers making bleep bloop sounds because computers
Does it seriously translate to “DO NOT OPEN”? WTF
Elevators are slow
Why are we drawing this out? We know they’re going to open it
There it is
Well those guys were vaporized
“Is anyone hurt?” “well, those guys that were vaporized were hurt”
Yeah, we can see he’s dead
Oooo… placenta!
We just got this message to dot open it and now we’re fucking with it
And stupid guy pokes it…
Of course we released something deadly
People everywhere are melting!
Yes, we understand how sub-launched missiles work…
Half of the crew just melted, but we’re going to keep staring at this thing
Alien opens its eyes, natch
Well that’s not good, and completely predictable… let’s go looking for it!
Alright, maybe Straub isn’t an idiot
Why is Julien in charge?
Why is Julien, the guy not trained in firearms, carrying a firearm?
Jeez Straub, don’t be such a pussy
Alien-o-vision!
Everyone is slowly walking around the base with flashlights for extra suspense
We all know the poker guys is going to get dead
Alien is really loud when moving silently
Alien kills Julien, movie over
Why is this base filled with rock salt?
Did alien just suck the light out of the flashlight? I guess just the power
Yes Julien, let the alien give you a scalp massage
So is the alien trying to tell Julien where it’s from?
Then everyone shows up and they start shooting, hitting the alien
And the unarmed black man is shot? Really?
Alien melts
This can’t be it
Did you just get a page?
Washington calling…
Wait, 1947?
Did he just say everyone on Mars was killed?
They want to assimilate us? What?
And now we have to kill you Dr
Straub is a dick
Reprogram the doors to lock us all in, but in the meantime, you’ll know exactly how to open it
We should probably have sex because we’re going to die, right?
Music tells me an idea is coming
Straub is a dick and a murderer
Poker guy isn’t so bad
Climbing stairs…
Wait what?
Are the aliens containing the camp?
Straub is vaporized
Julien is not vaporized
Aliens read his mind again
Missile is still on its way
MIchaels is dead, no one cares
So come on guys, move this along, missile is on its way
Oh… kind of looks like one of those Abyss alien ships
And base is vaporized
And now they are in space!
The end.