Episode 67: Sam’s Notes

Earthrise

  • Aw man, shits going down, and this guy can’t get away from it
  • These people really want Marshall
  • Space
  • Plant
  • Haha… it’s so funny that Earth isn’t luxurious
  • That’s some weird art on the walls
  • We like jokes
  • What do we want to do…. Netflix?
  • Vivian is a people person
  • But she is definitely not stable
  • Marshall is (dead, and also) a leader
  • Dawn smiles too much
  • Nope, just bullshit an answer like everyone else
  • Don’t worry about Vivian ruining this, it’s already mostly ruined
  • Everyone back home knows Marshall doesn’t know anyone
  • Dawn is freaked out by ghosts
  • And don’t call me Honey!
  • Everyone here is cray cray
  • Thanks for correcting all the facts, Dawn
  • Been on Mars your whole life, you basically won’t be able to function in Earth gravity
  • People got hurt in this future timeline
  • Your face is weird!
  • Vivian can’t handle all the drama, Marshall lives for the drama
  • Vivian has a southern Mars accent
  • His wife hasn’t reached maturation, but is old enough to make babies
  • The fuck is an “earth name”?
  • Dawn doesn’t have anyone, let’s cry along with her
  • What is it with the art that is basically just blood spatters
  • What’s wrong with your leg Vivian?
  • Dawn isn’t in her bed… this spells trouble
  • Cameras cut out so we don’t have to see doors opening/closing
  • Marshall is gone too!
  • Vivian seems unnecessarily terrified
  • Gravity is happening
  • It’s like she’s being held down from another dimension!
  • I think she’s completely detached from reality
  • I bet they only select the most psychologically unsound
  • Weird boardgames
  • No one heard about what’s going on in Section 8
  • Just stupid rumors started by losers
  • Yes, we all know Revive is a great organisation
  • I decided my kid’s name while doing push-ups
  • He only picks names he’s sure his wife would hate
  • Wow… a book!
  • I don’t understand anything
  • I’m afraid we’re never going to see a planet
  • Space ship!
  • Marshall is having happy dreams
  • It’s obviously not Tonya
  • OMG, Tonya, put on some pants!
  • And… sucked out into the vacuum of space
  • Damnit! So close.
  • Dawn inspects the cargo
  • Lights please god damnit!
  • Grandpa!
  • Daddy is so old
  • Daddy, you’ve been dead 30 years
  • Totally going mad
  • Earth!
  • It seems like they’ve been on this trip for months and it’s only seven days
  • Finally, the Revive Project
  • Access to only partial research
  • It’s like you’re in prison, without collect calling
  • Let’s hug!
  • Yeah, what do they have to hide?
  • And does the Mars Post Office really pick-up mail way out here?
  • How much does the postage cost on that?
  • Dawn doesn’t want to tell him about Daddy
  • We should talk about why the Reese’s Pieces have gone missing
  • No, you’re crazy!
  • No one believes you, Dawn
  • I don’t trust anyone unconditionally
  • Definitely have trust issues
  • What is this “recover” you speak of?
  • Oh, it’s Red Dwarf!
  • Asteroids!
  • Books are dumb!
  • We finally get to see people injured!
  • There’s no warning system for asteroids?
  • I think the asteroid hit you!
  • You’ll check the deck?
  • There was damage, but no damage
  • Were we supposed to see the pot, or the person walking in front of the pot?
  • Who brushes their teeth while walking around a ship?
  • Shelob!
  • Another person from southern Mars
  • There you are, watching TV in the hallway
  • Vivian just cannot sit in a chair like a normal person
  • Marshall calls it like he sees it
  • Vivian makes a good point
  • “Something’s wrong!” I know, it said system malfunction
  • Ooo… F-bomb!
  • There’s something in the cargo hold
  • Do things often go wrong when you’re around?
  • Have you ever done Fight Club?
  • Marshall ruins everything!
  • Everyone should just stand there instead of doing something, also, crocodiles
  • They man in the TV is talking only to me
  • We’ve been sooooo close for weeks
  • Thankfully, didn’t get eaten by a crocodile
  • Uhm…. we lost a load of gravel
  • On a spaceship, we say “deck” not ground
  • You’ve never seen gravel?
  • I feel fine! Except that we’re all bat shit crazy
  • I think they only sent you all cause you’re shit people
  • You cannot tell mom and dad about any of this!
  • So close!
  • Dawn is doing nothing to stop any of this
  • Thank god Daddy is here, I really just need a hug right now
  • Marshall manages to hit his head a second time
  • So now Marshall is hallucinating the girls are beating him up
  • I wish they were trying to kill him
  • We need to deal with this problem
  • We’re not in our landing seats!
  • Yeah, we didn’t ask you if it would be good to raise a family on Earth
  • Meanwhile, back on the landing spaceship
  • And the rocks infect earth and everything eats itself, the end.
  • They who?
  • Just going to hold on to this souvenir
  • We’re off to see the Wizard!