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Travelling Salesman
- A proof that could unlock the universe or something
- The most important proof in computer science that computer scientists have never heard of
- Too long on this fence
- And now, for the boring life of mathematicians
- Just going to work and shit…
- Found footage of a speech… probably the worst nightmare imaginable
- John, John… you’re on mute…
- I’m glad we abandoned that, now, look at this clock.
- Watching a guy read quietly…and a literal water cooler
- Just going to watch this guy watch that guy
- Still watching you, buddy
- John Wick?
- Just watching a guy get water from the aforementioned water cooler
- Now we can’t even have cell phones to get us through this boring scene?
- Watching a one-sided phone conversation
- John Wick, can you please kill everyone in this room?
- God, I hope we can watch a guy stuck in traffic
- Yes, can we not be irresponsible and please have this conversation before I fall asleep?
- We’re interrogating you because we have nothing else to do
- I don’t care of Von Neumann did say that
- Knowledge is Power. Can we leave now?
- Back to found footage of this guy talking about some other guy
- Complexity theory? Like, the theory of complexity?
- Proved the non-existence of one-way functions
- Tim Horton, not only famous for complexity theory, but also donuts
- Yes, lets not sit here and assume anything, like, that this movie will get interesting
- As experts in our field, we couldn’t possibly understand the implications of what we discovered
- I don’t know what we’re supposed to be getting our minds around!
- I feel like everyone involved in the Manhattan Project knew the implications of building an atomic bomb
- Oh cool, some guy talking to another guy, awesome
- This is certainly not Los Alamos
- Change the sand to glass and finding the coin is trivial, except for the part where it’s still hundreds of miles of glass….
- New technocratic reality!
- Therefore, P must = NP
- Proving that P = NP has to be done right!
- Here, let me show you a card trick
- P = NP is simply magic!
- More found footage
- Watching a guy fold a hankie
- We’re all sorry you were late
- The President says…
- That’s not how that goes
- John Wick is getting twitchy
- Tim Horton is upset his donut recipe won’t get out there
- This, my friend, is no sewing circle, as demonstrated by no one here sewing
- Can’t sleep, must watch top secret porn
- You’re not even allowed to take this letter from the President out of the envelope from whence it came
- As a viewer, I don’t understand the reality of whatever is going on here
- So it’s a way to decrypt whatever
- Haxx0rs!
- Oh, so this guy is the salesman
- I’m looking for whoever is counting… they must be a genius mathematician!
- She must be a student who doesn’t speak
- Hawkings jokes
- Stumbling around this NP complete thing again with the smart British guy
- Well somebody say something!
- John Wick, reduced to fetching tiny bottles of water
- Nevermind, stop talking, please.
- Zing!
- No sir, you are not being funny, but could you?
- Yes, Tim Horton does have the best donuts
- Still fingering the letterhead
- Marco!
- Wick, is that you?
- Are we really just going to look at each other?
- Is this vice on the head a metaphor?
- Yes. Yes it is.
- You can’t handle the truth!
- Wick thinks you should sit down
- It’s time. Please end it.
- Yes…. boats against the current…
- Now everyone thinks Tim Horton’s donuts aren’t as good as he says they are
- Wick is stoic
- Do not threaten a mathematician!
- Math divides…. Get it?
- Fuck you Illuminati!
- Travelling Salesman is the name of the system
- So the fix was to slam the world into the stone ages?
