Episode 35: Sam’s Notes

Fire & Ice

  • Wow, check out this fantasy score!
  • Lots of credits here…
  • I think Ralph has half the production credits
  • Who names their kid Nekron?
  • And who makes a child just to take over the world in 20 years? That’s some long-term planning there
  • This also looks like storyboards from a Conan movie
  • The art quality is… uh… not good
  • So many loin cloths!
  • Why was everyone on the battlements, what were they going to do with spears against this glacier?
  • And now that these creatures come that they actually can fight with spears, and they run
  • Maybe they’re going to do something to the king’s daughter
  • As he savagely rips the earing from her ear…
  • What’s with all the Aryan barbarians?
  • Oh god, he’s fighting back!
  • That was a calculated leap into the jungle abyss
  • Woah… so, only wearing underwear when “giving her love” to father
  • At least she has a cool panther
  • Not the panther!!!
  • Slow motion animated assault
  • Alright, how are they getting her down?
  • Man the dragonhawks!
  • At least she was already wearing a bikini?
  • And what’s with these ape people? Is there message here?
  • He even spits manly!
  • Still just wearing a bikini in the jungle
  • So do these ape people have language?
  • Yelling man
  • Giant iguana?
  • Wounded savage is still going to attack the princess…
  • How do they still have so many men?
  • So… they have language?
  • And now wolves…
  • And he pole vaults over this nonsense (he’s also an olympic aryan gymnist)
  • It’s ancient written language
  • Mmmm… boar…
  • A ruse!
  • Wrastlin
  • You’ll pay for it then? Do you take VISA?
  • What’s happening here, and why does this “chase” look like a game of Pitfall?
  • No one picks berries like that
  • I bet this is where iocane powder comes from and she’s just poisoning him…
  • See, ROUS!
  • “I’ve always lived close to a fire.”
  • So they are totally into each other
  • “It’s getting colder” also, you’re wearing practically nothing
  • Which is to say, monkeys don’t behave themselves?
  • Of course there’s a leviathan in the pool
  • Larn’s butt
  • Oh, is this the guy on the horse?
  • I am Batman.
  • How are the maggots Johnny?
  • Why is he bathing his face in mustard?
  • Where is she going to hide this knife?
  • So she’s cutting the chain with a knife?
  • Yes… they’ll never notice the drag marks in the acrylic background
  • How could there be 50 of them?
  • I am Batman.
  • It sounds like Darkwolf recorded all his lines in a bathroom
  • Otwa the friendly giant
  • Hey look, another scantily clad woman
  • First red flag are all the weapons and bats hanging from the walls
  • Second red flag is the roofied drink
  • Just a witch hanging out in the jungle waiting for people to wander by?
  • I guess she’s upset about this girl being wanted by Nekron?
  • There’s 50 of them and you’re throwing rocks
  • Hahah! Just tosses Larn off the cliff
  • Slow motion assault
  • Why is this guy tasting the blood?
  • Well, that wasn’t very smart
  • I’m afraid your request of peace is going to be slapped down
  • I will not call you friend.
  • This is really funny.
  • I spit on you… figuratively
  • How dare you present me with sluts!
  • Even in a kingdom of ice everyone is wearing loin cloths
  • “My arm is getting numb from holding it up like this.”
  • So Nekron makes the emissaries kill themselves/each other and tosses the bodies right next to the princess
  • Larn and Nekron fight in their underwear
  • Nekron cheats
  • I give Larn points for continuing to try
  • Larn escapes and runs, leaving Teegra behind
  • Nekron still thinks this is all a big joke
  • I am Batman.
  • Did they really build a city on an active volcano?
  • Dragonhawks, fly!
  • Dragonhawks look like pterodactyls
  • Naturally, the only two dragonhawks left are the inexperienced Larn and Darkwolf
  • James T Kirk signature punch
  • I am Batman.
  • Teeva saves Larn
  • Nekron is still laughing
  • Darkwolf is all FUCK your magic!
  • Release the lava!
  • Wait, how is that dragonhawk not dead?
  • Did Darkwolf not make it out?
  • Of course he made it out
  • Let’s make friends with the subhumans
  • How is there water still surrounding the volcano kingdom?