Episode 60: Sam’s Notes – Streaming Nonsense Podcast

Bornless Ones

Are we starting at the end of the movie?
She always wants to play
Possessed daughter stabs herself
Neck stab
Shoots her daughter
So clearly that was some other family in the house
Pretty mountains
Woodrow is a jerk and I already hate these friends
Mailbox is chained… that’s an idea
OMG, the horror gas station trope!
For having cerebral palsy, Zach is really ripped
See, horror gas station
Nope, just passed out, alcoholism is scary
Signed up for Billy’s beer subscription
Woodrow is a jerk
They’re moving in? Do they have stuff to move? I didn’t even see luggage
I hate Richard Alonso Jr III (that doesn’t even make sense… )
Richard is a hugger
He’s really selling the house
I think Richard wants to leave
House is left as is from previous owners
Uhm, Zach is still in the car
Well, we know someone went into the house to at least board up the windows, kind of
Why is there bubble wrap on a dress body… with a bunch of needles stuck in it
This basement has lots of stabby tools
It’s still popping
“Fuck you bubbles!”
This child’s bedroom is immaculate and old-style creepy
Bone Poems?
Medical file?
The girl who lived there before had a heart defect
Butts
Tits
At least we can be absolutely sure who will die first
We need to do it?
What’s small?
Yes, your penis is small, also, baby.
We’ve been here 20 minutes and they are banging
Alright, Zach is her only family
Finally, the best beer in the state!
Zach needs lots of medication and it prevents her from doing anything, really
The party is finally on
This movie feels soooo much like Cabin in the Woods
Slow motion blur means PARTY is happening
Woodrow doesn’t want to talk about how much of a bully he was (or probably wasn’t)
What the fuck is what?
That’s like a warding thing or whatever… Thank you Supernatural
Zach is having a seizure, but it’s healing!
See, I think burning the warding is a bad thing
Yeah, so someone came in and put the boards up on the windows as wardings
Thanks wikipedia for freaking us out!
And of course she forgot about medication because booze makes you a terrible person
Why is she so emotional all of a sudden?
That’s a special prayer, just between us, okay? No one else can know about it
Zach doesn’t blink anymore, it’s his superpower
That picture over the bed is creepy
Zach wants to watch
Oh, you lost your sex chance!
Random early morning crying
I don’t think, those are sex sounds
Bodies in bags. Or demons locked away?
Just a bad dream
He’s walking, what do we do?
Finally, the doctor is here
Does the doctor normally have his shirt open like that?
Really hard on the medication thing
His heart just screamed at me
X marks the jugular!
I’m sure you can’t take him from the house
There’s a hatchet right there on the lawn… perfect!
Grilling steaks, pulling all the wards out
“They’re doing what they were made for.”
Jesse is taking an extended leave because of a murder suicide at school
Emily’s mother died in a fiery car wreck
Gas mask in the basement
More creepy dolls, and implements of torture on the wall
And a menorah?
Weird writings
Don’t open that box because it’s not ours
Woodrow finally feels like a dick
Great big giant warding thing with Star of Davids everywhere
Demonology is a real word, fucktard
Spellbooks
X marks the jugular!
Zach’s here right now
He looks possessed
He senses the baby
No one brought chargers?
Demons in the woods
Babies crying
Did she just barf up a fetus?
I guess not
Why have that type of scissors in your purse?
Billy’s beer subscription!
They can only take you when you’re drunk
It would be really super if you hadn’t removed the wards
The chattering teeth thing was great!
Did Zach burn the phones? Yup!
Remember, Jesse is traumatized
Needle to the face
Michelle is super possessed
Needle to the eye
Why isn’t Jesse lobotomized?
Woodrow is having a moment with Zach
It’s like Woodrow is beating up on the bullies who beat him
Alcohol in the eye
Maybe you can get a robot eye?
Don’t push me away, this is really hard!
Oh I see, Woodrow was the bully, haunted by the kid who killed himself
Woodrow is tossed into the basement
How did he get the poker in his face?
Jesse really wants to get Woodrow to the hospital, completely forgetting about how he needs to go to the hospital
Anytime someone says “There has to be a logical explanation” is…
If there are demons, there must be god
Emily, finish him!
Emily is untouched, though, what does that mean?
I will give him all the pills
Of course the naked teenage girl was in love with him
No Jesse, bad Jesse!
“That’s just the demons playing with your mind.”
Screws himself together
Seven demons called guardians
Don’t open the box
This rebar should be helpful
Oh, sigils, not wards
It’s a god damned puzzle
There’s that rebar again
Overhead projector?
So, hits to the brain are good
Zach’s helping!
I love you baby, but you’re going to die here
Finally, Emily gets hurt
She still has a belly stab
Blood glue
Hey mom
Mom tried to kill them both?
Not the hand!
Haha… Jesse comes back, pinned to the wall
There’s still a demon left
Yeah, Zach saved the day!
Now she’s the paralyzed one and needs taking care of
Wait, how did they get down the stairs?
Closing rock song