Episode 62: Sam’s Notes

The Last Lovecraft: The Relic of Cthulhu

  • Opening Lovecraft quote
  • Dessert in Qatar
  • Cultists
  • Relic waters itself
  • You got a boat!
  • Devin is gone
  • And suddenly getting slaughtered
  • Roar
  • Joke? Haha?
  • Not a joke, I guess
  • Cool movie
  • I like the opening credits
  • No really, Miskatonic University
  • Oh, I recognize that guy!
  • The council meets
  • Exposition
  • But I’m just a professor?
  • It’s true, you are not in any way qualified for this
  • Do I have to touch it?
  • “My money is on you being brutally killed within two days” (6:20)
  • Sqrly Squirrel gift baskets
  • Sexual harassment at the office
  • Holy shit, he’s a dumbass
  • “I should kill you with my stapler right now.” (10:00)
  • The Cult of Cthulhu Lair, It’s a thing
  • They have gills
  • And this creature wears a t-shirt, a unicorn with uzis
  • Old guy in the apartment
  • Comic book exposition
  • Cthulhu doesn’t like dinosaurs
  • General Starspawn
  • I mean, those are planets, not stars, but sure
  • Probably shouldn’t roll the comic up
  • Waiting for someone to drop the relic and break it, even though it can’t be broken
  • I don’t know, this old guy seems pretty capable
  • Starspawn…we meet at last
  • Fish people
  • Well, old guy got dead
  • Captain Olaf?
  • “Do I look like a fucking hobbit to you, bro?” (21:50)
  • Paul Reemer’s grandma’s house
  • My other pet is a Shoggoth
  • Paul is looking out the window at him
  • Oh no, don’t put it in water
  • I guess we’re back to Captain Olaf now
  • It looks like you got that map from the back of a Captain Crunch map
  • They’re training?
  • Voss knows how to handle a sword
  • Holy shit, Martin Starr is in this!
  • Laser Tag stuff never works
  • Nerd blackhole
  • Stocking up in the basement
  • “What, they’re fish people.” “I hate you.” (30:45)
  • Pretty people at the beach
  • Are they going to get dead by the Deep? I hope so.
  • Slaughtered by The Deep, called it
  • “What if dolphins were robots?”
  • Subtitles just because this fish guy isn’t very understandable
  • The Deep Ones eat all the squishy cultists
  • Can I give you this friendship bracelet?
  • The snack rack has one bag of chips
  • Oh man
  • Weird folk in the desert
  • Paul’s gay
  • Samurai fish comic
  • Monkey fish army
  • No one in this car has a cell phone
  • You weren’t in there man, he’ll fuck with your balls
  • This is a pretty sad fight
  • Paul can’t run very far
  • That’s got to be the fake
  • Jeff and Charlie are out in the desert somewhere
  • Did Jeff have a tie on before?
  • Random RV
  • It’s the captain!
  • The captain has to tidy up first
  • Dead goat outside the motel
  • Paul is not a ninja eagle
  • Cultists have a very short lifespan on the job
  • “You boys ever been fish-raped?”
  • Paul collapses in front of the RV, clutching the friendship bracelet
  • I guess we’re going to get the weapons and fight?
  • Jeff and the Captain looking for a sea chest in the cave
  • Charlie tries to get Gary to water, mainly by shoving his head into a sink
  • Dynamite and a revolver
  • Gary could be bait
  • So they get out of the RV after killing the two Deep Ones
  • Captain gets harpooned
  • I guess Starspawn heals by touching water?
  • Isn’t Paul still in there?
  • Yes
  • The relic is assembled!
  • Well that’s not how dynamite works, but sure
  • Jeff saved the world!
  • Just sign my comic
  • I thought Antarctica would be moreā€¦ flat?
  • I don’t think that’s how you tie in for climbing, but sure
  • The Mountain of Madness!
  • Original closing song