Episode 70: Sam’s Notes

Iron Sky

  • The most title cards ever
  • Year, 2018, mission to the moon
  • Really nice shots of the lander and the moon and Earth
  • Touching down… success!
  • President is basically Sarah Palin
  • Hey look, there’s a moonbase on the moon!
  • Germans have Helium-3 written on their tanks
  • What looks like a German soldier fires a pistol… in vacuum, and then a rocket launcher
  • They’re just carrying firearms like this is in any way possible
  • Awesome title screen
  • Driving motor bikes on the moon, because combustion engines work in vacuum?
  • Children learning things
  • Exposition, children explain something that they probably say in every class
  • We see a flying saucer in the background
  • And they’re driving VW Bugs
  • Of course the name of the captured prisoner is Washington
  • I guess they’re surprised because Washington is black?
  • In 2018 we have holograms, got that folks?
  • She has her own campaign posters inside the white house
  • The Great Dictator as a sign of how Hitler will take over the world? Interesting interpretation…
  • She’s needed because she knows English, I guess
  • Sauekrat for lunch!
  • We can come together around the German language
  • Fighting back!
  • Washington lands, stands up to celebrate his escape, gets knocked down and falls into ventilation
  • The escapee is black and may be angry @
  • You are a knockout, he gets knocked out
  • Looks like swastika hopscotch on the ground
  • How come vacuum matters here?
  • And why did her skirt come off?
  • We need him for tests!
  • As Washington is being dragged away, “Thanks homie, I’ll talk to you later, man.”
  • So Washington is just a model, he was sent up to be black and pretty
  • This, is a computer!
  • It’s because of his brain structure…
  • The United World Confederacy
  • United States has no military activity on the moon
  • Back at presidential campaign headquarters
  • Only the department heads stay
  • She goes off on everyone about how they’re all idiots with Ride of the Valkyries in the background
  • Everyone is listening outside the door
  • Back at Swastika moon base
  • Someone at Renate’s door
  • Klaus is back
  • The Department of Racial Purity has approved us for physical unity
  • Now, in the battleship
  • Doctor invents the USB port, he thinks @
  • And the phone’s battery dies
  • We must return to the earth for more cell phones
  • Renate visits Washington
  • The doctor is Renate’s dad
  • Albiniser serum
  • She’s an Earthologist
  • Unexpected smooches
  • Washington in white face playing a good Nazi
  • Washington follows the others onboard and the saucer takes off
  • Saucer lands in upstate NY
  • Renate slipped onboard
  • She kisses him to subdue him
  • Backwoods pot grower shoots at the Nazis
  • Washington does not come across as “one of them”
  • I guess Washington didn’t know
  • So they kidnap the campaign manager and kick Washington out of the VW Bus
  • So, Renate is in deep with the propaganda
  • Vivian is going to use Klaus
  • Back in the White House where the President uses an elliptical on top of the carcass of a lion @
  • Renate and Klaus stride in, Renate is all sexied up, complete with corset
  • So besides all the taxidermied predators around the office, there’s also a gun rack filled with assault rifles @
  • So now the Nazis are the speech writers for the President
  • Walking through Times Square and there’s a box on the light pole that says “Security Camera” @
  • And the moon is in the background
  • Washington holding signs about the moon nazis coming
  • This the bitch that made me white!
  • Held by the police
  • The Great Dictator showing at the movie theater
  • Renate takes Washington to the The Great Dictator
  • She didn’t know Chaplin was mocking Nazis and Hitler
  • War makes presidents popular
  • Vivian and Klaus, I guess
  • Klaus gets off about talking moon invasion
  • Wolfgang is in Vivian’s office
  • Krystalnacht piece of shit!
  • Vivan is dead
  • I guess the invasion has started
  • Meteorblitzkrieg
  • Someone is shooting all the Germans… who could it be?
  • I guess Vivian wasn’t dead afterall
  • Never doubt a Nazi
  • Should Vivian tell someone about the invasion?
  • German soldiers talking about nudy magazines
  • These guys remind me of stormtroopers
  • Wolfgang is still trying
  • Kick to the face
  • Adler takes off in the saucer
  • Saucers are disgorged from the carriers
  • Statue of Liberty taken down
  • President just cares that there’s a war so she can be re-elected
  • Flying a saucer can’t be any different than playing Wing Commander
  • Just as the meteors hit NYC
  • The George W Bush, to save the day!
  • Vivian doesn’t like Klaus
  • Looks like everything is going great for the GWB… but no
  • Australia sends in its fleet, and Canada and…even the Russians, with Mir
  • Finland is the only country that didn’t arm its fleet
  • Gotterdammerung will fly!
  • Renate and Washington are on the battleship, trying to stop it
  • The HQ is attacked, women and children murdered, we’re no better than they are
  • Washington attacks the doctor
  • The Helium-3 engines!
  • Battleship takes off
  • The alliance fleet is tiny
  • Time to fuck back
  • Take positions behind this fat phallus
  • Love the analog targeting system
  • Why do you have to disconnect the tablet, can’t you just bash it?
  • “National anthem, for motivation, break glass”
  • Doctor tries drilling Washington
  • Everyone salutes
  • Renate tries to stop Klaus, but of course not
  • She plays to his narcissism to get him to shock himself
  • Klaus gets heeled
  • So the US made moon nazis?
  • Slow motion fight in the UN
  • Students are all sitting in class, ready to follow Renate
  • And the space fleets take each other out and then nuclear war all over Earth
  • Closing shot of Mars… dun dun dunnn